Intimacy


Ishvara:

Intimacy is an energy that can be very transformative, if you are courageous. It can open you to the whole of Life. It is a high frequency energy that operates in unconditional and allowing awareness. Feeling a connection with something or someone else is always a component of intimacy. Another component is your intent of being all that you can be, and looking at the other person with the awareness that the other person can be all they can be too.

In intimacy, there is not the constraint of "You have to be this way so that I can be happy." That kind of attitude breaks intimacy right away, because it involves projecting your needs onto the other person, which destroys the synergy of intimacy.

To develop the energy of intimacy, you need to be open and receptive to it, allowing for its possibility. The fewer constraints and expectations you have, the greater the field, the space, for intimacy. But if you come to that space with conditions or expectations, you diminish or even destroy the possibility for intimacy.

Human interaction works best when there is total trust and openness, always allowing that the highest good can take place regardless of what the circumstances are around that. The problem is you may start to have that kind of opening, but then "I need" or "I want" comes into play, and either of those is conditional. The moment conditions start, intimacy is lessened, and if the conditions continue, intimacy can simply disappear. Intimacy happens when there is a genuine openness to Life.

So in a way intimacy is fragile, but in another way it is very powerful, because when you come to the space of total openness you have transcended fear and expectation. To be totally open and receptive to the flow of Life is a high frequency, a high intimacy with Life. That requires a tremendous amount of trust and fearlessness, with no opinion, no projection, no attitude. It is a purity, an allowing for the best to occur. It is not something you can make happen; it is something that has to be allowed. If the ingredients for it are present, it will happen.

Intimacy involves a deep knowledge of the other person, having an awareness of where the other person is coming from, their likes and dislikes, what they are experiencing. You don't "use" that knowledge on the other person; you are just aware of it. In intimacy, there is a constant exchange of energy. It can be non-verbal; it can be just presence.

In intimacy, there is a flowing awareness. When you become open, you begin to see everything, and you have a willingness to see everything. This involves seeing things about yourself and about other people, but not moving into judgment about what you see. It entails a willingness to simply be with what you see, recognizing, "Yes, this is here, this is how it looks in the moment," without assessment or guilt.

Intimacy is more than just connection. You can have a connection with a person, and afterwards wonder, "What was that about." Intimacy, on the other hand, involves really knowing a person, really knowing a situation, but without judgment, expectation or projection.

In a sense, intimacy requires a super-human capacity: you have to be beyond any kind of vindictiveness or judgment or guilt, because many times what you see in another person is something that exists in you too. This "super-human" capability is the next step for humanity. Humans are going to have to master intimacy in order to move to the next level, because the next level functions in a connection, an intimacy, that involves knowing others, seeing a very clear picture of other people and what is happening. That clarity does not happen if you have a lot of judgments and expectations.

With intimacy, there is a great relief, because you have let go of your story, the persona you have held up to portray "who I am." In intimacy, that persona disappears, and you simply "are," so you don't have to hold onto your story.

Written and transcribed by Terry Grant

In a two-part message, Ishvara speaks of intimacy. I have transcribed and edited his words from a talk he gave on April 5, 2005. - TG.

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